Saturday, February 27, 2010

How Can Muslim Guy And Christian Marry

Al - Mujâdala: Quand Dieu écoute les confidences d'une femme ..., Asma Lamrabet


Fonte: http://www.asma-lamrabet.com/html/default.htm#

La tradition prophétique relate l’histoire de Khaoula Bint Thâalaba qui vint un jour se plaindre de son mari auprès du prophète S[i]. Selon la version rapportée par Aisha mère believers, will give long Khaoula the prophet telling him how her husband, after so many years together, had an evening comparing offended "at the back of his mother." This formula, known under the term Dhihar was widespread among the pagan Arabs who, to divorce, compared their women "in their mother's back." This custom made women routinely "banned" for life to her husband, but may not be free to dispose of herself let alone remarry. Khaoula express, in a long-confidence made the prophet, his deep misfortune to see how after all these years of union with her husband, who offered him his best years, he will push as she was not in the prime of life [ii].

Khaoula described is a situation of frustration that women are as old as the dawn of time and that any woman can live at one time or another in his life. That whole aspect of the humiliation of a woman's heart touched in its most intimate, deeper, more sensitive.

Following this confidence, expressed by a woman injured in his pride, the prophet receives revelation of Surah Al - Mujâdala. Divine revelation is a response to the anguish of this woman and prove once again that God is there always so close, so far, listening to all ...

The verse in question answer quest Khaoula in these words: "God has heard about the woman who pleads with thee concerning her husband, when she addressed her complaint to God. And God heard the conversation well, because God is Hearing, Seeing. Some of you swear to repudiate their wives, using the formula: "You are also forbidden to me that is the back of my mother! "Then they are not their mothers, their mothers are those who have given birth. They also make comments that blame lies. "Qur'an 58; 1-2.

These verses highlight several important principles. First, that of listening and respect for this woman's complaint, that also of his right to freedom of expression and then that of the immediate social reforms, ordained by God, for the abolition of this custom humiliating women.



[i] The story is found in almost all books by tafassirs versions that differ slightly but remain the same on the background. The version reproduced here is narrated by Aisha Umm el Mouminine. See Attabari, Attabakat El-Kubra, about the circumstances of revelation of Surah Al mujadalah.

[ii] See the Arabic text of the complaint Khaoula depending on the version of Aisha, among others reported by Ibn Kathir in his Tafssir of Surah Al-mujadala.


Regarding this last point, the Koran will be immediately condemn what is now considered a serious fault while indicating the various methods of atonement in the following verses of the sura [i].

God therefore meets the expectations of this woman strongly criticizing this kind of talk He discusses customary "reprehensible" and "deceptive" by prescribing stringent penalties to deter even those who will struggle to get rid of it.

The Creator of His high heaven, go and listen and give importance to the concern of the woman who came to confide her intimate problems to the prophet. This will be just as considerate and attentive to his suffering but also those of others, of all others, especially those of women he vowed a special indulgence and tenderness proven.

God and his prophet "were listening "Believers and the revelation here shows us the need and obligation to be attentive to others, whatever their context, their requests or the closeness of their suffering.

How many women, the heart broken, scarred by daily humiliations of the register, are silent and confine themselves in deep silence, because they simply do not find listening. Because in the name of Islam, it is often "frowned upon", especially for a woman to expose and reveal their problems, expectations, intimacy and its internal conflicts. This side "intimate confession" in Islam with its full share of compassion and tenderness are often if not always, marginalized or even completely omitted at the expense of rigor cold that eventually become the effective image the essential Islamic message. Words like love, compassion, tenderness, intimacy, are often absent in Islamic terminology, so that verses like these reflect proximity Divine touching intimacy, delicacy and gentleness.

Another principle emphasized by this verse is the right of women to freedom expression. This is a very telling aspect of the mindset of the spiritual message of Islam that explains the latitude available to the Muslim women at the time to express freely their ideas, queries and their discontents.

Indeed, Khaoula could go give her pain to other women, some of which had probably been living the same disappointments marital or send his missive to one of the wives of the prophet who would have made arrangements with the latter . But this was not the case because it is precisely the power of faith and hope to nascent the new message that has allowed Khaoula overcome the constraints naturally to questions about privacy. Khaoula had the courage to find refuge with the Prophet, and from there to hear his words to God himself. By complaining to the prophet of an ancestral custom, denouncing it in his name, but also that of all others, unfair and humiliating that was known at the time as a particular form of repudiation, which, far from be a cyclical habit, persists to this day on other versions equally deplorable.

This testimony of the time women illustrates the degree of intellectual maturity of these religious women who, inspired by the light of faith, will have the moral courage to assert, to expose and challenge the established order by unjust patriarchal customs .

was the birth of a new female consciousness in revolt in the name of his faith and the principle of justice of Islam. Surat Al-Mujâdala none other than the footprint of the new female Islamic thought that the Qur'an sought to introduce progressively but surely over the past twenty three years of revelation.

Les exemples de femmes musulmanes qui, au premier temps de la révélation, ont usé de cette liberté d’expression et ont fait preuve d’une incroyable autonomie quant à leurs choix de femmes, sont légion dans les récits de la tradition prophétique. Mais, il est regrettable de voir que ces modèles de femmes passeront presque inaperçus, dans la littérature classique islamique, car le plus souvent elles n’y sont citées que pour illustrer d’autres évènements et non dans le but précis de mettre en relief cette véritable démarche de libération féminine. Des personnalités féminines qui ont jalonné l’histoire de l’islam depuis le beginning of the revelation that will be mentioned but not as relentlessly references to full but as figures of "relay" of passive figures in history, even subordinate to the representations of male figures considered the NORM!

can still cite as evidence of this "freedom of expression female, two stories reported in the Hadith literature classics and provide lessons that speak to this subject.

Barira is the story of a servant of the Prophet's wife Aisha, and that the latter had to enfranchise. Barira was married to a young man named Mugheerah she had never loved. In releasing its former servitude the prophet gave him the choice to continue living together with her husband or divorce. She chose to separate from the one he had imposed against his will by being a slave but was stayed Mugheerah Barira madly in love and tradition says he followed her everywhere, his beard flooded with endless tears. The Prophet, moved by this scene, asked his uncle who accompanied Al Abass: "Are not you surprised by the love for Mugheerah Barira and la haine de celle-ci pour lui ? ». Al Abass lui proposa alors d’essayer de les réconcilier. C’est ce que fit le prophète qui demanda à Barira : « Pourquoi ne pas reprendre la vie commune avec Moughit ? ». Elle répondit : « Est-ce un ordre de ta part, prophète ? ». « Je suis là juste pour intercéder en sa faveur… » – lui dit-il. Ce à quoi Barira répondit : « Si c’est ainsi, c’est non, je ne veux plus de lui »[ii].

Voilà un exemple de femme musulmane déterminée et qui fait ses choix au nom de la liberté et des droits que lui a octroyé l’islam. Cet islam qui l’a libérée twofold, from submission to slavery and that related to the customs of forced marriages. She says NO to the Prophet while taking the precaution of making things in perspective, that distinguish between what was in the order of the prophetic mission and what was the order of a single human mediation. Apart from a requirement that could serve the cause of Islam, she was ready to make any concession on its right to freedom of choice, what would the prophet of Islam himself! This friendly precisely this freedom of choice as a fundamental right for all human beings and mainly against women who were most vulnerable, has not used its power of deterrence as a prophet to influence or intimidate him and force him to accept! This clarification from him: "I'm here just to intercede on his behalf" reveals how the prophet was respectful of women's right to freedom of expression and also shows his greatness of soul ...

Another example goes in the same direction is the hadith which tells the story of a young girl who comes to the Prophet to complain that his father had married without his notice to a cousin. The Prophet then gave him the choice to leave her husband if he so desired. She had this to say the least surprising response: "I finally accepted the marriage but I wanted to me complaining, show women that our fathers did not make any decisions for us. [Iii] "

This kind of talk, it is true, is unlikely when one considers the reality of contemporary Muslim societies. Companies which in most cases are governed by the legal codes of most backward and go against the principles of freedom espoused by Islam. Examples in the current lives of many Muslim countries are more than talking because it is in those countries that there are as many marriages or forced marriages "arranged" for family reasons and are still popular in many Islamic circles.

When you see the damage caused by the number of forced marriages still in force even in the Muslim communities living in the West, we have the right to remain puzzled and amazed by the ignorance that prevails there. Moreover, it is impressive to see how these marriages, denounced by all international associations des droits de l’homme, sont actuellement représentatifs de l’oppression des musulmanes par cette religion, source de tous les maux, qu’est devenu l’islam. Mais comment se sentir offusqués par ces jugements même s’ils restent tronqués, quand ce sont les musulmans eux-mêmes qui, profondément convaincus par « l’islamité » de cette pratique, font véhiculer allègrement ce genre de préjugés attribués à tort à l’islam ? !

Au printemps 2005 le grand Mufti d’Arabie Saoudite dénonçait la pratique du mariage forcé des femmes (pratique par laquelle l’homme « tuteur légal » tel que le frère ou le père lui impose un mari) et qu’il jugeait comme étant « non islamique » et source d’une « grande injustice ». Après cette Fatwa, l’Arabie Saoudite vient d’interdire les mariages forcés… en 2005 ! ! !

On a le droit de se demander pourquoi avoir attendu presque 1 500 ans pour légiférer dans ce sens alors que les sources sacrées étaient on ne peut plus claires à ce sujet ? ?

Le respect du message de l’islam pour le droit absolu d’une femme au choix de son futur époux et pour son droit à la liberté d’expression, contraste avec ce qui a été véhiculé – et qui continue de l’être aujourd’hui – par une certaine culture islamique qui ne cesse de démontrer justement le contraire à savoir qu’une femme musulmane ne pourrait avoir droit ni à la liberté d’expression ni à celui de choisir son partenaire.

Dans de nombreux pays musulmans, la femme quel que soit son statut social, est mineure légalement puisqu’elle reste sous la tutelle de l’homme : mari, père ou frère. Ces derniers ont le droit – tout le droit – de parler en son nom, de choisir en son nom, de décider de ce qui sera le meilleur – et parfois de pire – pour elle. Tout cela est avalisé bien entendu par une lecture biaisée du religieux which provides a guarantee of choice for enthusiasts of female submission.

course, when the reforms take place in these countries to ban such practices be applauded and we commend the State concerned, which made significant progress towards modernity since it "releases" of "religious law" obscurantist! ! !

The recent reform of family law in Morocco is the most telling example ... This reform was the result of a consensus and a long process of consultations between the various social, political and religious country under the auspices of the King. But we must not forget to recognize that this process is primarily the result of a long struggle of secular feminist movements in this country, denouncing the reactionary status of Moroccan women in this code. These secular women have done on behalf of their conscience and beliefs, far from any religious reference, while those who belonged to political movements or Islamist traditionalists say, have on behalf of Islam, rejected the change and have even criticized and accused of being first and foremost obedience to Western! These religious women have rejected the reform because she played in their eyes a guardianship occidentale et ont réagi par peur pour leur identité religieuse ! Elles cautionnaient les discriminations du code car elles étaient stipulées au nom du religieux alors que ce même code n’était qu’une interprétation, parmi tant d’autres, des sources islamiques, elles-mêmes prisonnières du rite Malékite. On peut effectivement dénoncer une certaine vision hégémonique occidentale sans pour cela légitimer des pratiques discriminatoires qui, en plus, sont en contradiction avec les principes fondamentaux de l’islam !

Il est malheureux de voir comment l’islam en tant que religion est inlassablement accusé de torts dont il est incontestablement innocent. Some Muslim scholars would argue that all these discriminatory practices are in fact inherent in the sacred text, while others will try to justify these practices by alibis while entangled in theological explanations of type: Islam is only "protect" the woman!

Moreover, it is very common to find books describing the Muslim woman as a "pearl", a "jewel in a box" or a "flower" that we should protect, defend, save for an eternal external enemy. We can even confine, imprison it its always good, always protect it ... But the Quran never mentioned the woman as a flower or a jewel that should be protected! !

Qur'anic vision of the woman is in total opposition to infantilizing image conveyed by some Islamic culture. For Islam, the woman is primarily a free human beings endowed with sense, intelligence and reason. The example Khaoula, why this woman was revealed Surah Al-Mujâdala, alone can contradict these aberrations. Denouncing a practice demeaning to women, she has exercised her right to freedom expression and divine revelation has planned for it a real social reform. Moreover Khaoula, a woman of strong personality and is surely emerged strengthened by this Surah revealed "nothing to it" will allow to preach to someone like Omar Ibn El Khattab, years later, while he was himself Emir of the Believers!

is what is reported in the literature of classical exegesis such as that of Al-Qurtubi who speaks of a true "enjoining the good" Waad preached the same when she met Khaoula Emir accompanied by a large procession of men and she publicly called out ... "O Omar, we called you Oumairan (short for Omar) and then called you and Omar are you today designated by your title of emir of the believers. So just because it would require you to live always in fear of God ... "[iv]
Omar Ibn El Khattab
will also listen carefully and at length to the end, which will react to a his companions surprised that someone like the Emir of the Believers may well lose his time listening une vielle femme inconnue dans la rue ! Omar va lui répondre en ces termes : « Malheur à toi ! Ne sais-tu pas que cette femme n’est autre que Khaoula dont la plainte a été écoutée par Dieu du haut de Ses sept cieux ! Comment ne pas l’écouter alors que le Créateur l’a fait ? ! Je jure par Dieu que si elle devait me retenir jusqu’à la tombée de la nuit je resterai en m’excusant auprès d’elle juste pour les prières obligatoires ! »[v]

Le récit de cette rencontre entre Omar Ibn Al Khatab et Khaoula avec tout ce qu’il comporte d’enseignements nous dispense de tout commentaires superflus… Ces deux êtres, égaux before their Creator, had understood and assimilated the essential message of Islam ... Such a relationship which reflects the spiritual equality, social and political as it was understood at the time it is even conceivable today between a head of state and citizen, between a Muslim and a Muslim?



[i] This atonement is within the capabilities of each: the emancipation of slaves, the observance of fasting for two consecutive months or 60 to feed the poor.

[ii] This story is listed in a Hadith le Sahih de Boukhari dans le chapitre des divorces ; 359-9.

[iii]Sunnan Ibn Maja.

[iv] Tafssir Al Qurtubi, sourate Al Mujâdala.

[v] Tafssir Ibn Kathir, sourate Al Mujâdala.


Asma Lamrabet

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